August 31st

Dear Diary,
I haven't posted in a pretty long while now have I? Well, it was a mixture of both laziness and difficulty putting my thoughts into words I guess.
To my question of the day, why is it that ladies hardly have anything complimentary to say to other ladies. Yes I said 'Ladies', meaning all ladies not some ladies, go ahead an accuse me of generalisation, but whether we like to tell ourselves the truth or not, we are all guilty of this sin.

I complimented a friend on how good she looked a while back, I noticed she had lost some weight and went ahead to tell her how good she looked. Her reply got me thinking about this topic. She was so pleased and she kept thanking me, she went ahead to talk about how ladies never noticed when a friend was looking good or when she had lost some weight that she fought hard to loose. Instead they were always waiting for you to falter and commit some fashion blunder, or 'thankfully' add some much dreaded weight, then they would pounce like tigers that have been lying in wait for it's prey. These weren't her words exactly, but they pretty much sum up what she said. Funny as it seems, it is true, her analysis hit the nail on the head.

And so today while at my cousin's wedding, where we all goshed over how pretty his bride was, but we still had to point out that her dentition wasn't the most perfect one on earth, I remembered my friend's analysis and wondered why we couldn't have just stopped at the complimentary stuff? I remember countless times gisting with friends and how we went ahead to say mean and hurtful things about others, still cant understand why we said them.

But really, why can't we just stick to the complimentary stuff, is there really any need to get so 'mean'? Maybe it has to do with our competitive nature, competing for a man's attention maybe? Maybe it has to do with the fact that we don't like something about ourselves and constantly have to put others down to feel better about ourselves. Reminds me of someone I used to know, who used to hammer on the fact that I was fat back then, funny how when I looked at the pictures from back then, I saw a very skinny child. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she wasn't very comfortable in her own skin and so to make herself feel better, she had to put others down? Maybe it has to do with the fact that we are envious because she has something we are lacking?

I really don't have all the answers, but dear sisters, isn't it high time we start complimenting each other instead of complicating life further than it already is with all the negative energy. Funny enough, this is not related to girls only, I know some guys whose only conversations with me are about how fat I have become.

Lots of love,
Iphie
XoXo